a cracked pot

"But we have this treasure in jars of clay

 to show that this all-surpassing power is from God and not from us."

2 Corinthians 4:7

Last night I fell asleep thinking about being a jar. A cracked pot specifically.

How do I explain that suffering opens up more room within us to trust God and to reveal Him?

I know this is true but how can I ever explain that to someone who is suffering or has yet to suffer? 

This jar of mine is littered with pits and cracks. And I am thankful for them. Each and everyone of them. I wasn't always so. God would allow this suffering in my life and I would howl and stomp my feet and cry. And guess what, the world kept on spinning and He kept on being God. I love that about Him. I love that the most.

At some point I stopped howling and stomping and noticed that lots of people were suffering. I think that was during the time I wasn't in church. God used those three years or so of silence to help me see others sitting at home on Sundays. Imagine that... When you go to church every Sunday you sometimes don't fully grasp all the suffering going on outside the church. 

God was using each of those moments of my own suffering- or those close to me-  to call me to a closer walk with Him. Did I really trust Him? Was He really good?

He gave me this visual image last month in the middle of a precepts class. I hope that in some way this draws you in to Him. Because as you'll see... that is what I want more than anything.

I am a clay jar. And so are you. And if God is pouring His all-surpassing power into me, it will pour out. Over the top if there are no places for it to come out of. And if I am full of myself- well nothing of Him can ever come in or out of me. But God being who He is... He allows and even causes us to suffer. I will never forget the two by four He used on me when I was a defiant 17 year old. God will be heard because He so loves us. (John 3:16)

But if I have suffered in some way just maybe that crack will be an opportunity for Christ to pour from that area into the lives of others. Let me give you an example. One I am willing to share here on the wide web. (Some cracks are pretty specific or a rather personal area that are more about me ~ learning about Him.)

I've got this youngest boy who has suffered. He was diagnosed with Systemic JRA when he was just a little guy of 15 months. We have cried, prayed, and cried some more as he has faced his challenges of daily pain. But in the last year or so I have finally seen areas the God was using his and our suffering. Because of his frequent trips to see the Dr, I had the opportunity to talk with her about God and what He is up to in an area of both our lives that have nothing to do with JRA or this boy of mine. But because of him and it- there we were talking.

Nate and I have also had the opportunity to meet others suffering. He and I pay more attention to those in pain. We tip our waitresses at the restaurants we stop at along the way and wonder about them. We smile at other folks in the elevator. And just because of all those trips to physical therapy- I one day realized that just maybe God had a new direction for my life. One as an occupational therapy assistant helping other people.

And that crack that started so many years ago, has split further around me. It has connected with other cracks, and He is just seeping and oozing and flowing out of my life. And me, I long for that day when all the cracks will give way. When I will no longer be able to hold Him back with my insecurities and cowardly moments, and I will split wide and pour out Christ and nothing else. Because with my clay jar still in the picture, sometimes people see that and think about me and not Him. As He works in my life, chunks of me get blown out from the flow of His power.

And someday... well someday we Christians will split these clay jars wide open... just as Gideon and his men did. Do you long for that day too?

¹⁷ “Watch me,” he told them. “Follow my lead. When I get to the edge of the camp, do exactly as I do. ¹⁸ When I and all who are with me blow our trumpets, then from all around the camp blow yours and shout, ‘For the Lord and for Gideon.’”

¹⁹ Gideon and the hundred men with him reached the edge of the camp at the beginning of the middle watch, just after they had changed the guard. They blew their trumpets and broke the jars that were in their hands. ²⁰ The three companies blew the trumpets and smashed the jars. Grasping the torches in their left hands and holding in their right hands the trumpets they were to blow, they shouted, “A sword for the Lord and for Gideon!” (Judges 7:17-20)