Vulnerable among vultures

I know crazy title... but something about vulnerability can make me feel like I'll be picked clean by vultures.  We watched a video in pre-service that I am going to try to share here. I don't know where Brene Brown is spiritually but truth is worth sharing.

I would like to say I practice vulnerability often. But actually I spend a lot of time sneaking out the back door before you can pin me down and ask me how I'm doing. Because I know that I am naked. Frightfully naked.

I would like to think that if you were to ask- I would be quite open before you. I really have a problem telling lies. Even little lies like "Fine, I am just fine". If I say that to you, it is most likely the truth unless I haven't had a second to perform the internal lie detector test. I have somehow inherited this curse blessing from my mom.

That is why social activities and just saying hello can be so dreadfully difficult. Every moment of almost every conversation feels painfully awkward.

Me naked and you with a mask on.

Are those issued when babies are born? Cause I'm telling you- I really could use one!

Now not every conversation is like that. I sometimes meet others that didn't get a mask either. That is always a delight to find. A bit awkward at first (two naked people!) but so refreshing and comfortable.

I would liken it to being drunk without the alcohol to blame for any social mistakes. I have heard that alcohol has that same effect of making the masks come off and everyone has a great conversation or time. Until the pictures go on Facebook!

but more often I find people who have a mask but misplaced it. Or maybe the mask they had has fallen off.

Accidentally.

Or maybe on purpose.

God sometimes tosses them in the trash while they have gone to a closet to recover from a difficult situation.  He's quite hilarious with His business of making us righteous. Hilarious and painful...

But writing, because it is recorded, and talking are two extremely difficult things to do without your mask on. I can see much clearer- but even that brings into sharp focus how really pitiful I look naked next to you with your glamorous mask.

Speaking of pitiful...have you looked at the quality of those masks. Quite flimsy. And I want you to know, those of you with body size masks, that hide almost all of you,

 I will love you anyway.

 If you have taken the time to put up with my awkward social graces, and poor attempts at conversation or blogging~ I am listening.

You can peak over the top of your mask...and say hello to me. If you make a quick exit out the backdoor... I understand. I am quite terrified too.  I will not hold it against you...